wow, dude. just… wow.
So, my drive home takes me down Old Harford Rd, usually to Putty Hill Ave and up to Perring Parkway. Occasionally, I will take a bit of a shortcut to avoid that corner there, going down a little side street to another and then out to Putty Hill right next to the big park that’s there.
I did this Monday afternoon on my way home from work.
Towards the end of the road there were two cars parked directly across from each other. Now, this being a rather narrow little side street, I slowed down to avoid hitting either car. Not only that, but there were three people standing behind one of the cars.
As I’m passing the car, I hear a horn bleating. I glance in the rearview and see a guy in a jeep stopped in the street. He’s leaning out the window. I figured he knew the people and was saying hi. I thought nothing of it and continued on my way to the stop sign at the end of the road.
Well, that corner is kinda blind, so I start inching out, only to be honked at by the same kid. He’s screeching out his window at me. At first I thought something was wrong, so I turned off my music so I could hear his blather.
And blather it was. He was admonishing me to move my fat ass, drive my fucking car, etc etc etc. (Please insert an image of me rolling my eyes here.) I mean, really, I was driving at the speed limit. I only slowed down to pass the people in the street because they were, yanno, in the street. I’m not actually a fan of vehicular homicide. I much prefer my trusty axe to my pretty Corolla as a weapon.
At that point I was wishing I kept a knife in the car like certain folks I know, so I could’ve jumped out of it and ran back to him and asked him to repeat that to my face. Oh well. Instead I just antagonized him, rolling my car a few inches back and forth (it’s a manual, I can do that).
Which of course just pissed him off further, he is screeching all the while, adding new insults about how I’m so fat my car won’t even move. Meanwhile, I’m wondering how even saw enough of me to be able to determine that I’m such a heifer. And cackling to myself.
Whatever. I finally made the turn, flipping him off for good measure. He pulls out in the opposite direction, still screaming about how fat I am and blah blah blah.
I finished my drive home, chuckling to myself the whole way. Road ragey people amuse me. And on a tiny little side street, too. Stupid kid. Get over yourself. Enjoy that.
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Tags: douchey white boys in jeeps, drive home, driving, get out of the road idiots, i wish i'd had my axe, shortcuts, side streets, stupid, stupid should be punishable by severe axings to the head