deranged, that’s me
What follows is (most of) an actual conversation my boss and I had the other day via IM. Clearly, I was punchy and just as clearly, I’m deranged.
me: wouldn’t it be terrible if something awful had happened to that kid?
Lith: nah. He’d be on the right hand side of Satan.
me: i meant wouldn’t it be terrible that had happened and that’s why he hasn’t been in school
me: that’d be some America’s Most Wanted shit.
Lith: again – nah. He’s just gonna grow up to be a pox on society anyway.
me: i’m glad you’ve got such a positive outlook on life
me: maybe his dad killed him and buried him in the backyard
Lith: nah. swine flu
me: NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SWINE FLU
me: maybe his uncle kidnapped him into a religious cult
Lith: but dont you read the news? It’s an epidemic and we are all going to get it and DIE
me: Maybe his aunt is an axe murderer
Lith: some jesus would do the little shit good
me: maybe his cat has rabies and bit him!
Lith: awesome. his aunt and I should have tea and discuss techniques
me: whatever. i’m the axe murderess around these parts, thank you kindly
Lith: im gonna give the cat some treats for being a good puss puss
me: maybe his dog has mad cow disease!
me: and turned him into a ZOMBIE
Lith: J and K can take care of him when they play NaziZombies
me: they’d better raid your dad’s house first and stock up
me: maybe his horse stomped his face in!
Lith: i already have an underground tunnel right to dads basement
me: that’s a long-ass tunnel
me: maybe his cow ate him!
me: they do that sometimes, you know
Lith: you’re damn straight! especially when you’re diggin’ with a spoon!
me: maybe a wolf bit him and he turned into a werewolf!
me: MAYBE HE’S A VAMPIRE
Lith: Nah. vampires and werewolves are too cool for him to become one
me: maybe he’s a swamp thing then
me: maybe he got kidnapped by the Munsters
Filed under: other | 4 Comments
Tags: conversations via IM, deranged, Lith, me, my boss, silly