brewing things


Things. They are a-brewin’.

I’m not sure what those things are, or what they’re going to brew into, but I felt like saying that. As with, yanno, everyone on the planet, I’ve got shit going on. Most of which I’m either terrified of or trying to avoid. You know how it goes, right? And though I keep telling myself I really need to just suck it up and do it, get it over with, nothing is ever going to happen if you don’t make it happen, still I mostly curl up under the covers with my hands over my ears, trying not to hear or see or acknowledge any of it.

I had meant to write about my complete and utter lack of motivation to do anything at all of late. I was going to use the woeful disarray of my bedroom/domain to illustrate my point. When my room is messy (and it was), I always end up feeling like my head is messy too.

This is probably a thing I do to myself, but I’ve long felt that the disarray in my room leads to disarray in my head. I really do. I get more anxious, and more easily so as well. Irritable and cranky; and I feel like I don’t sleep quite as well, either. Not that I feel terrifically less messy when my room is clean; I mostly just feel calmer about the rest of it.

But I can’t use that example anymore, because I did a fairly thorough cleaning job last week. My room is tidy again. Or at least as tidy as it ever is. There’s still way too much crap in there, but not much is going to change that unless I suddenly have a complete personality shift and decide that a life of less is more is the one for me. But don’t count on that. So there’s piles of books in corners and in front of both my bookshelves (which are also full to groaning with more books and other crap) and piles of crates with random house wares that I’ve no current use for, and there’s rather a few pillows more than I need strewn across my bed and betwixt it and the wall; same goes for blankets.

I need to go through everything and get rid of some of it. Problem is most of what’s in the room now is stuff I already have gone through and do not wish to be rid of. The other problem is there’s much more stuff in the storage unit, but it’s out of sight and thus mostly out of mind. I really do need to go through it, however. Well, maybe in another week or two. The final problem is, ofcourse, that I like stuff, and I have a tendency to buy more stuff, whether I need it or not.

Bah. I don’t even know where I wanted to be going with this post. So I’ll just leave it at this: at least my room is clean.



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