the obligatory end of the year post

31Dec09

So, I suppose it’s the end of 2009. Yay…? I guess I could do some sort of roundup of the year. Reflect back on it. And I guess I will. But I’m hesitant to do so, because I really think New Year’s and all the hoopla surrounding it is a great big arbitrary mess of retardation and people insisting that if they’re lying drunk in a gutter in NYC at the end of night, that means that they’ll have a great year.

Really, I’m pretty sure it means you’ll wake up in the drunk tank next to a dude called Tiny.

(Like I can’t come up with a better more creative excuse to drink, if I want one.)

I’m glad that 2009 is over, for sure. And I think that’s at least part of why I’m hesitating to look back on it. I’ve lost some people, I’ve let some things go; and all that makes me sad, and reflective. The year did not start out well for me; depression will do that to a girl. I’ve noticed that I tend to get a bit lonely at this time of year, especially the past few years. I miss my dad. I miss my granddad.

But there’s good in there as well, and that’s what I want to take with me into the next decade: I’ve started taking better care of myself. I’m actually taking care of my mental health for the first time in at least two years, probably longer. I feel cautiously optimistic about the next year. So that’s good.

I’ve found some people that I thought I’d lost, and that makes me immensely happy and grateful. I’ve gotten a lot closer to a wonderful little group of fucking fabulous women, even if I’ve never met some of them. I’ve gotten closer to my awesome cousins who are awesome and I really wish I could see them more often (February, Cuz!). I’ve evaluated my friendships and have come to realize just how much I am loved (even if I have to pinch myself about it occasionally), and how awesome are the people that I love. (Ahem, sorry. Just got an eyelash. It’s nothing, I’m fine, really.)

Here’s some links to people who are surely doing a better job of lists and memories of the past year and decade than I could ever do:

Wil Wheaton is up to post five in his personal look back at the past year.

The Professor is talking about the movies that affected him over the past decade.

Pajiba. There’s so much going on over there, from the genre best of lists to the best books list that I find quite sadly that I’ve not read any of—I think that shall be a goal for 2010: read all of those books. Not necessarily read less crap, but read more of higher quality.

A recent addition to my feed is Ms. Mix-n-Bitch, who has a few end of the year music lists.

(I’m kinda hoping one of the numerous makeup blogs I’ve started reading will do a roundup of some sort, but I haven’t found one yet. I suppose I could consult The Google on it, but I’ve not yet done so.)

I’ve got a few plans for the online presence over the next couple of months. I am going to clean up and rearrange the blog roll here. It’s been neglected. I’m going to start saving my archive from Vox somewhere against the eventuality of losing it. I’m going to go through all of my photography over the coming months (it’s going to take a while), and pick out my best work. I’ve been contemplating trying to sell some of it, but that’s a different post. I’m going to clean up my facebook account and check up on my privacy settings. I already started that one with a purge last night.

I’m going to try to be more social. I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to manage that, though.

I’m going to concentrate on my writing. I had the germ of a beginning to a rewrite I want to work on this year last night, and I actually wrote it down, so I even remember it. I’m going to take up knitting again and actually get good at it this time. I’m going to do some cross-stitch projects as well.

I’m going to move out. I’m going to go to grad school.

I’m not going to waste my time trying to make people who don’t contribute to the fullness of my life or to my emotional well-being understand why they should be doing that.

I’m going to write about music again. TMITM needs to be resurrected. Anything new coming out you want me to eviscerate review?

I’m going to spend less time on Facebook, I think. Because otherwise I won’t get any of this accomplished.

There are physical things that I’m looking forward to as well. I’m going to Boston for a weekend at the beginning of February to visit my friends up there and the schools I applied to. Mostly to visit my friends and get a feel for the city. And at the end of that month I’ll be winging my way out west to see my Nannie and my cousins and have a few days to breathe.

In April Mom and I are going to see The Addams Family on Broadway and have a girl’s weekend. I’m hoping to meet my Awesome Pal Anna von BeaverWhateverShe’sCallingHerselfThisWeek, and Cindy too! Oh my. Whatever will the city do with that amount of awesome?

And there you have it. Nine hundred sixty nine words about 2009. That’s about nine hundred words more than I thought I’d write. Not so much a recap as a look forward. Here’s to optimism, and hopefully 2010 will be much awesomer than 2009 was.

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